This story had me grinning from ear to ear, and I simply had to pass it along. Because honestly, what’s better for the soul than a good laugh?
A Minneapolis father picks up the phone the day before Christmas Eve to call his son, who relocated to Chicago several years ago.
“Son, I really don’t want to spoil your week, but there’s something your mother and I need to tell you. We’ve decided to end our marriage. Four and a half decades of unhappiness is more than enough.”
“Wait, WHAT are you saying?” his son yells into the phone.
“We’ve reached our limit with each other,” the father continues. “I can’t bear to look at her anymore, and frankly, I’m done discussing it. Give your sister a call and break the news to her.” Click. He’s gone.
The son’s heart races. He immediately dials his sister’s number. Her response? “Are you kidding me? There’s NO WAY they’re splitting up!” Without hesitation, she’s on the phone with their father.
“Listen to me carefully—you are NOT getting a divorce! Don’t you dare make another move. We’re both catching flights tomorrow to sort this out face-to-face. And until we get there, no attorneys, no paperwork, no nothing. ARE WE CLEAR?” She slams down the phone.
The elderly man looks over at his wife with a satisfied grin: “Mission accomplished. Both kids are coming home for the holidays, and we’re not paying for a single ticket.”
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EXTRA LAUGH
I stumbled across this cheeky little gem this morning and immediately shared it with a buddy—he doubled over laughing until his stomach hurt. Truth be told, I couldn’t help cracking up myself.
An older woman from Montana scheduled a doctor’s visit to discuss her husband’s, shall we say, declining enthusiasm in the bedroom department.
“Has he considered trying Viagra?” her physician inquired.
“Absolutely not,” she said firmly. “The man won’t even pop an aspirin for a headache.”
“No worries at all,” the doctor assured her. “There’s something I call Montana Viagra.”
“Montana Viagra? What on earth is that?”
“It’s quite straightforward, actually. You simply slip the pill into his morning coffee while he’s distracted. He’ll never detect it. Give it a shot and check back with me next week to let me know how things went.”
Seven days pass, and the doctor receives her call.
“Doctor!” she cried out, “Disaster! Complete disaster!”
“Oh no! What on earth happened?” he asked with concern.
“I followed your instructions to the letter—dropped that pill right into his coffee. The reaction was instantaneous! He bolted out of his chair with fire in his eyes. In one sweeping motion, he cleared everything off the table—cups, saucer, tablecloth, everything—tore my clothing clean off, and had his way with me right there on that table. Doctor, it was absolute chaos!”
“My goodness, but I’m confused—why exactly was this such a problem? Wasn’t this the outcome you were hoping for?” the puzzled doctor asked.
“Oh, don’t misunderstand me—that was the most thrilling thing that’s happened to me in a quarter century! But here’s the thing: I’m never going to be able to walk into that downtown Starbucks again!”
Did this brighten your day? If so, do me a favor and share it with someone who could use a laugh!